Nightmares

Usually when i have a nightmare, i shake it off...i think "oh this will never happen" and then i go on with the rest of my day all happy and whatnot.  However the nightmare that i just had, is happening, no matter if i like it or not.  For about a year or so, we've been taking care of outside cats, feeding them and whatnot.  Apparently somebody called Animal Control because they didn't like it, assholes.  So now, they have to come and try and catch all the outside cats and they're going to put them in the human society... and probably be euthanized in a week or even a couple of days.  What i don't think is fair is that one of our neighbors lets their cat and her kittens outside for a little bit everyday... they don't even get their cats back.  Thats what i hate about society, we live in a world where everybody freaking hates everything.  One of my neighbors hates the fact that we gave these cats food, that we love them, and that i even named a few.  One of my little neighbor kids stops by everyday after school to pet all the cats.  But no, that's all over now, how can people be so freaking cruel?  All I can imagine are all those cats sitting in cold jail cells and when they get euthanized, all they can think about is "why did they do this to me, why did they let this happen?"  I don't want it to happen to any of my cats that are actually mine, let alone the ones that are outside.  I don't think that it should even matter if somebody takes care of a few outside cats, i would never call animal control if any of my neighbors had outside cats.  I have a feeling of who it might be though, i think it might be my neighbors on either sides of my house, or my neighbors on the far corner.  The neighbors on the far corner used to shoot cats with his BB gun but nooooo he doesn't get in trouble, just the people loving these poor cats when they have no home, no one to love them.  We don't go out and shoot every hobo that we see do we?  No, because that would be inhumane... WHATS THE DIFFERENCE!?  You're probably thinking "oh my god it's just cats, get over it."  When i was a little kid, i wanted to be a vet, and that dream lived on til i became really squeemish of blood.  So animals have just been my life since i was a little kid.  So, if you own outside cats in the city of Beatrice, be warned they will find them and kill them.  I can't wait to be out of this stupid town.

Help

So i think i have a situation... and its a very strange one.  A friend of mine(a male), he told me to be ready to break up with my boyfriend because he thinks that he'll cheat on me while hes in college.  He thinks that he will become a partier and will have sexual relations with a whole crap ton of girls.  First... no.  Second... he doesnt drink... and as sad as this sounds he doesn't have any friends (in college.)  My friend Steph tonight when i told her this said... and i quote... "I think he likes you..."  Well the thing is... this friend of mine has said that he's Bisexual...  but then sometimes he says hes gay... I dont really know what he is.  But i don't know if he likes me or not... he wouldnt let me walk on the road and kept saying "its the gentleman thing to do..."  Alriiiight.  I don't even know what to say or think...  I dont feel the same way...  but he doesnt make any sense.  We went like a week without talking and he was super mad at me... then the next minute hes like all nicey nicey... like whaaat.  He's like my step dad...  I just don't get it.

U.S.A ...maybe not

I am ashamed to call myself an American citizen... there i said it.  We go around bombing everybody and we cant even solve our own problems.  Its as if they think that all the bad things will instantly go away if we bomb everything single thing.  Like for real?  I mean yes... Syria did drop a poisonous gas on its people and killed thousands upon thousands of people... BUT do you think that if you just drop a few bombs that you are only going to kill the bad guys?  No... you are going to kill thousands upon thousands of people just trying to get rid of the bad guys... and that might not even work.  I just don't understand anything about politics though.  There is probably some "good" reason on why we should attack, but i still haven't seen it.  I think America tries to overcompensate... land of opportunity and whatnot...  We stopped being the land of opportunity a long time ago.  I don't see why some people want to come to America... i mean i can... in situations like living in North Korea, Iraq, Afghanistan etc.  But otherwise I don't understand.

People. Are. People.

I dont understand.  I don't understand a lot of things... but i really don't understand people.  There's an ex-coworker of Joels who has a HUGE crush on him.  Today we went through the drive through at McDonalds and she was all like "I miss you, you need to come visit me here sometime" HELLOOOOO... GIRLFRIEND IN THE CAR.  It was my car too... so if she comes looking for it... i will be angry.  I went on a jealous girlfriend rant for like 10 minutes... and then i got sad... from her facebook profile... shes pretty.  I'm not worried that he would fall for her... especially what happened after we got home.  But i know that she isn't the first to ever do something like this.  I literally had an old friend tell me to my face that even though i was dating him she was still gonna love him... they had never dated...   I know that I cannot control the minds of teenage girls and whatnot... but i can be that jealous girlfriend...  I mean... to an extent.  I just worry... Joel has been the longest relationship that I've ever been into... I dated a guy for 6 days in 6th grade... i dont really count that relationship though.  I dont know what i would do if he wasn't a key role in my life. My parents are key roles... they made me who i am... the tall quiet jealousy girl that i am.  Joel is my boyfriend... we have already talked about getting married and having kids... I havent done that with anybody before.  we've talked about what would happen if we were to ever break up... and it looks as if we would never just be friends... no matter how bad i would want to be.  I want a relationship like Freddie Mercury and Mary Austin.  They dated and then when he turned gay they stayed the best of friends.  He was even the god parent of her first son.  If anything were to happen between Joel and I... i want our friendship to be like theirs.  I want him to be that guy that even though we are no longer dating that i can tell everything i want to him.  I want our kids (even though they would be with other people of course) to be friends.  Anyway enough of that and stuff... i had a really good day.  I played video games and watched movies and painted my nails.  But i think it is time for me to go to bed now.  Goodnight!

Here I Go Again

After the nice weekend I had with my boyfriend...it must sadly come to an end.  He leaves for Omaha again tonight around 7.  I can say that I have gotten the best nights sleep these past 3 days.  He's a hoot.  Theres a Dr. Seuss quote that i pinned to my pinterest board... and it really is true.  We stop ourselves once and awhile look into each others eyes and go "We're a weird couple..."   I haven't got to do what i wanted to with him though.  I want to play video games with him.  Until he has to pack up and leave.  Play COD like we used to.  We used to play it for hours!  I would play with him over PSN but... I don't have a good enough internet box thingie... (yes, girl vocabulary at its finest)  I just hope I never have to go back up there and pick him up again... that was the longest (or what seemed like the longest) road trip of my life.  But you know... i think that this time when he leaves... I'll be okay.  I had to help him apply for a job at a walmart in Omaha.  I hope he gets the job... it would be nice for him to save up for the things he needs.  He really needs transportation... that is a big thing.  But food is nice too.  I bought new fingernail polish to keep myself busy with while he's gone again.  I also bought 6 James Bond movies, have to really clean my room and get it prepped for college myself, and i have a trip to Missouri in the mix.  So i think that i will be fine.  You know... Glee starts up in a couple of weeks... I will have nobody to watch it with... sad face.  I feel like i should stop going on and on, i should probably get out of bed and spend some time with that boyfriend of mine!

I miss you!

Recently my boyfriend went off to college.  He's about 3 hours away from where i am right now.  I've laid in bed the past 3 days not sleeping til 3 in the morning.  I miss him.  I miss his hugs and his kisses.  I miss the way he runs his fingers through my hair.  I miss cuddling with him whenever i'm sad.  I miss laying my head in his lap while he plays video games.  I miss seeing his smile... like face to face.  We've been skyping like crazy... but that's just not enough.  I mean... he gives me "hugs and kisses" but its not the same.  I just miss him.  I tell myself everything will be okay, that he will be back eventually.  I wish that he could come and wipe away my tears.  It's hard... i know that he is not the one to cheat... but one of his roommates brings around all these girls to hang out with (he has a girlfriend as well.)  I'm just nervous that he'll find somebody prettier and has most of the same interests as him.  He keeps telling me I have nothing to worry about... but I do.  Is that bad?  My mind tells me that he will... while my heart tells me that he won't.  But i should at least attempt to sleep.  Goodnight people.

Superstition Ain't The Way

Alright, between Madonna and Stevie Wonder... i've had the quite the kick for both recently.  Anyway, i've been super busy with work and my boyfriend that i really haven't had time to blog recently.  I super excited, i have 20 records coming in the mail sometime this week! Hopefully they will be in tomorrow since its my only day off.  Anyway, i wish it were Christmas... so when i walk around singing Last Christmas its no big deal...  I'm super tired. I can't even focus to type this up.  Theres a cat in my face... and she is super annoying.  I'm cat sitting for a friend who recently lost her house and her fiance wont let her get another one because he fears they will go into debt... but she bought $300 dollars worth of clothes and it was fine... sometimes men make no sense.  But until they get a house i have to listen to my mother and stepfather complain about it.

Royal Baby Fever!

Alright so i'm probably one of the few Americans who truly care about the Royal Baby.  I am truly excited for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge!  Other people in my household... not so much.  My mother yesterday said "Should i drop everything and be happy?" Yeah, let it be known that I am really the only person i know (in Beatrice Nebraska, and probably the U.S. for that matter) who is excited to see the Royal Baby.  If i could go to England right now, I would.  Also, i would probably never really look back.  I mean i would visit America when i could... considering my mother lives here and what not.  I would probably make a summer home in England if i could.  I hope that i get a good job and what not.  I would stay here during the school years, travel to England in the summer and maybe quite possibly during the winter.. wouldn't that be fun! :3  Ah, hopefully i can travel abroad in college... considering i want to do something with history and what not.  Something about being a music major just doesn't seem plausible anymore... i mean yes... i'm good but i'm going against a lot of my classmates who are even better.  So, should i just stick to history?  Because between music and history thats all i'm really good at you know...

Alright, ive been watching CNN for like 2 hours... i wish they would just show the baby already! :O

7:00 PM London Time (1:00 PM Central)

I am on the edge of my seat... I just want to see this little Prince!!  I am so excited! They just gave the five minute warning so, five more minutes til Royal Baby!

7:05 PM London Time (1:05 PM Central)

Nothing so far!

7:06 PM London Time (1:06 PM Central)

One minute late!! Oh hurry you guys!! I'm excited! And impatient!

7:10 PM London Time (1:10 PM Central)

STILL NOTHING! AHHH

7:13 PM London Time (1:13 PM Central)

AHHH ROYAL BABY!!!  Oh my goodness, he is soo cute!  Kate and William are wearing blue!  AHHH my cuteness meter is in overload!  Little yellow blanket!  Excuse me while i go die of too much cuteness!

7:20 PM (1:20 PM Central)

They left the hospital!  Alright, my excitement has been fulfilled!

AHHH okay sorry for all that Royal Baby fever!  :3 But I've been excited since yesterday as have all of England and a few people here and there!  Time to go and eat some lunch!

My Stepdad... the asshole

MY FUCKING STEP DAD IS A FUCKING TOOL AND A DOUCHEBAG WHO SHOULD GO DIE.

Sorry about that.  But he is.  He is throwing a huge fit over a fucking charger cord... A FUCKING CHARGER CORD!  He is such a fucking baby.  He has always been babied.  My "grandma" always fucking babied him.  Still does, and she doesnt know what to do with the monster she created.  Like she doesnt want him staying with her because hes so demanding.  Have you ever wanted to sabotage anything before in your life? Because i have the most GENIUS idea.  I need to clean my room and have a SHIT TON of people over in my room.  FUCK YOU MIKE.  FUCK YOU!  I need to go and clean now.  Plenty of people to have over and shit!  I love you readers, thanks for listening to my rants!

My ABC's and stuff

So recently i've been looking through my facebook page going back and looking at everything since i got a facebook page my freshman year of high school.  So, I want to see how much i've truly changed

This was my ABC note from 12/10/10 my Sophomore year of high school

A - AVAILABLE: Mhm

B - BIRTHDAY: June 24, 1995

C - CRUSHING ON: ...somebody else

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Apple Juice

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: TOO MANY PEOPLE

F - FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: hmmm i guess Umbrella/Singin In The Rain

H - HOMETOWN: Beat-Rice, Nebraska

I - IN LOVE WITH: ...

J - JUGGLE: Nope

K - KILLED SOMEONE: No

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: From Beatrice to Rapid City, South Dakota

M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Vanilla

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1

O - ONE WISH: idk...

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: My Mommy

R - REASON TO SMILE: It saves lives

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: hmmm idk

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 10:52

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: woah woah PG-13

V - VEGETABLE(S): Brocolli

W - WORST HABIT: Biting My fingernails.

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD MOST RECENTLY: hmmm X-ray on my ankle in 8th grade

Y - YOYOS ARE:  AMAZING

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer

RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

Your favorite number: 3

What color do you wear most: orange

Least favorite color: red

What are you listening to: the people in my head

Are you happy with your life right now: sure

What is your favorite class in school: hmmm i dont like comp 200

Who is your best friend: I got lots

Are you outgoing: idk

Favorite pair of shoes: Converses

Can you dance:  Nope.  not even after dance lessons and all that crap

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth: Nooooo

Can you whistle: kinda

Cross your eyes: yes

Walk with your toes curled: no

Do you believe there is life on other planets:  No

Do you believe in miracles: yes

Do you believe in magic: sure

Love at first sight: mhm

Do you believe in Satan: no

Do you believe in Santa:  WHO DOESNT

Do you know how to swim: Yes

Do you like roller coasters: kinda

Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows: No

Have you ever been on a plane: Yes

Have you ever asked anyone out?:  Nope

Have you ever been to the ocean: no

`Have you ever painted your nails:  Yeah

THE WHATS                                  

What is the temperature outside: cold

What radio station do you listen to:  106.3

What was the last restaurant you ate at: ...idk

What was the last thing you bought: i think it was gum

What was the last thing on TV you watched: How the Grinch Stole Christmas 

THE WHOS 

  

Who was the last person you IM'd: idk

Who was the last person you took a picture of: My cat

Who was the last person you said I love you to: my mom

CRYING SECTION

Ever really cried your heart out: Yes

Ever cried yourself to sleep: Yes

Ever cried on your friend's shoulder:  no

Ever cried over the opposite sex:  no

Do you cry when you get an injury: yes

Certain songs that make you cry: idk

HAPPY SECTION    

Are you a happy person? YOU KNOW IT :D

LOOK AT ME

What is your current hair color: Brownish/Blonde

What is your eye color: light bluish

What is your current height: about 6"2

 CURRENTLY WEARING    

What shirt are you wearing: YMCA shirt

Pants: jeans

Shoes: airwalks

Necklaces: none

Underwear: PG-13 people. 

IN A BOY/GIRL  

Favorite eye color: Doesn't matter

Short or long hair:  Not too long or too short

Height:  Taller than me

HAVE YOU EVER

   

Been to jail: no

Mooned someone: No.

Thought about suicide: no

Laughed so hard you cried: Yup

Cried in school: Yes...

Thrown up in a store:No

Wanted to be a model: No

Seen a dead body: Yes

Been on drugs: No

Gone skinny dipping: no 

THIS OR THAT  

Pepsi or Coke: pepsi

McDonald's or Burger King: McDs

Single or Group Dates: Either

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla

Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries

Meat or Veggies:  Meat

TV or Movie: Tv

Adidas or Nike: Nike

Chinese or Mexican: Chinese

This is the revamped version on 7/20/13 the summer of my freshman year of college

A - AVAILABLE: Nope :3

B - BIRTHDAY: June 24, 1995

C - CRUSHING ON: The same guy from before Joel.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Tea

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Joel

F - FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: Anything Duran Duran or Queen

H - HOMETOWN: Beatrice, Nebraska

I - IN LOVE WITH: Joel

J - JUGGLE: Nope

K - KILLED SOMEONE: No

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: From Beatrice Nebraska to Gills Rock Wisconsin

M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Vanilla

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1

O - ONE WISH: To be in a famous band

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: My Mommy

R - REASON TO SMILE: It could change the world for somebody

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Cherry Pie by Warrant

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 9:42

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: -no comment-

V - VEGETABLE(S): Broccoli

W - WORST HABIT: Biting My fingernails.

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD MOST RECENTLY: Does the dentist count?

Y - YOYOS ARE:  AMAZING

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer

RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

Your favorite number: 3 still

What color do you wear most: All kinds

Least favorite color: Brown

What are you listening to: Peter Griffin squawk at birds 

Are you happy with your life right now: bits and pieces

What is your favorite class in school: I liked band the most. 

Who is your best friend: I have a lot

Are you outgoing: I could be

Favorite pair of shoes: Converses

Can you dance:  Noooo

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth: No

Can you whistle: kinda

Cross your eyes: yes

Walk with your toes curled: no

Do you believe there is life on  other planets:  No

Do you believe in miracles: kinda

Do you believe in magic: sure

Love at first sight: absolutely

Do you believe in Satan: no. 

Do you believe in Santa: ... Santa?

Do you know how to swim: Yes

Do you like roller coasters: Some. But not all

Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows: No

Have you ever been on a plane: Yes

Have you ever asked anyone out?:  Nope

Have you ever been to the ocean: Yes. It was awesome.

`Have you ever painted your nails:  Yeah

THE WHATS                                  

What is the temperature outside: very hot and gross

What radio station do you listen to:  92.9 ... the eagle

What was the last restaurant you ate at: ... ummm i dont remember

What was the last thing you bought: 2 Duran Duran CD's

What was the last thing on TV you watched: Family Guy

THE WHOS 

  

Who was the last person you IM'd: idk

Who was the last person you took a picture of: Cats... still

Who was the last person you said I love you to: my mom

CRYING SECTION

Ever really cried your heart out: Yes

Ever cried yourself to sleep: Yes

Ever cried on your friend's shoulder:  yes

Ever cried over the opposite sex:  ... i dont think so

Do you cry when you get an injury: yes

Certain songs that make you cry: yep

HAPPY SECTION    

Are you a happy person? YOU KNOW IT :D

LOOK AT ME

What is your current hair color: Well... i dyed it black so its a blackish brown color

What is your eye color: Green

What is your current height:  6'2 1/2

 CURRENTLY WEARING    

What shirt are you wearing: Freddie Mercury Shirt

Pants: Red leggings

Shoes: none

Necklaces: none

Underwear: PG-13 people. 

IN A BOY/GIRL  

Favorite eye color: Anything but brown

Short or long hair:  Not too long or too short

Height:  Taller than me

HAVE YOU EVER

   

Been to jail: no

Mooned someone: No.

Thought about suicide: Yes

Laughed so hard you cried: Yup

Cried in school: Yes...

Thrown up in a store:No

Wanted to be a model: No

Seen a dead body: Yes

Been on drugs: No

Gone skinny dipping: no 

THIS OR THAT  

Pepsi or Coke: pepsi

McDonald's or Burger King: McDs

Single or Group Dates: Either

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla

Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries

Meat or Veggies:  Meat

TV or Movie: Tv

Adidas or Nike: Converse... duh

Chinese or Mexican: Chinese

Its amazing to see how much you can change in 2 years. How much some people influence your life.  I recommend that if you did something like this a few years ago that you go back and look at your answers and try this too!

My Stepdad, the douchebag

Ugh, so annoyed right now.  My stepdad is a freaking idiot.  So, i'm trying to hang out with my mom and friends right? He gets all pissy, saying that my mom needs to cut the cord and pretty much just abandon me so that he can "spend time" with her.  Well, all he does is work from 7-5 and then sit and watch tv all day.  I will admit that i am no better, but i have applied at a few places and im waiting for them to call back.  Also, I hang out with my friends, he has no friends.  All his friends freaking hate him, no joke.  Even their kids, THEIR KIDS hate him.  They say that kids are good judges on people, and guess what... IF THEY HATE YOU... YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH SCREWED.  So, you may be wondering why i or anybody could hate this guy.  Well... here's where i will begin.  When i was about 10 or so, he slept with a couple of girls, and my mom figured out about one, we'll just call her L.  He moved into his mothers house and they saw each other every day or so.  He eventually moved back in and kindled and old flame with an old high school girlfriend, we'll call her C.  C and her husband were happily living in N.C. and had 2 children.  After they started talking their marriage went to crap, and then after they stopped talking, she got pregnant and they are still living happily ever after.  Anyway, i'm getting off subject.  After C, he just turned into a total prick.  He started abusing my mom both mentally and physically.  He has threatened my also, but i'll just say that i've taken down my own father, i can take down his fat ass.  Anyway, one day while i was at school and my mom was at work, my step dad moved out...to live with his girlfriend... we'll call her J.  He was gone for about 6 or 7 months and everything was almost great... we had a hard time making things meet and my mom had to borrow from my grandma a lot.  But then apparently his girlfriend went crazy... cant imagine why or anything.. and then my mother (bless her soul and whatnot) let him come back.  After that he's been trying to be all nice to me... but he still treats my mom like crap.  I keep telling my mom to file for divorce... but after he put a gun to her head.. shes afraid.  I guess this all comes to you, the reader... If any of you have been through this, speak your story... i really don't know what to do.  I would really just like your help... leave a comment and spread this to your friends... if you dont know maybe they know somebody who does! Thanks for reading this you guys!

What the heck am I doing here?

After several attempts to make a blog and try and keep up with it... i thought i'd give it another try. I thought i would post some photos and stuff and you know... keep up with the times yo.  I have another blog from when i was in high school if you really want to check it out.  It's jocelynmorgan.blogspot.com, and the reason im making a new one is because i want it to be original and not something my teacher made me do... hope you enjoy!